Since my last post, I have moved into a new apartment, briefly separated from The Husband yet again (he got to go on a bit of a soul-searching experience himself, spending a couple months training for forest fire training, and doing flood relief in North Dakota), and made some absolutely horrible life decisions. While we were separated, there was a tragic loss of a much loved friend. I dealt with it poorly. I also realized the pettiness of so many of our arguments, and I urge all of my readers to try as much as they can to set aside the petty things, the beef that will inevitably arise between all of us, because without a moments notice, people whose presence we’ve taken for granted can leave us. Arguments we assumed would be resolved can be left hanging forever, without us ever having the chance to say how we feel.
After The Husband completed his venture, he returned home to me and the children, and I am still amazed by how well we’ve done since then. We still, of course, have our petty arguments. But we now have the knowledge of their pettiness, and that no matter what happens, our family and our friendship, comes first.
So, now my beloved Husband finds himself incarcerated (apparently, doing public services and working on personal growth isn’t acceptable reasoning to the municipal courts to leave state while on probation, nor is honesty in court appreciated.), and I find myself struggling to balance everything.
I have left my previous bartending job, and acquired a position at The Grove Street Brewhouse, our local neighborhood brewpub. I like it a lot. It fits much better with my mindset, and hopefully all will continue to go well there. I love the idea of DIY beer, and plan to start my own batch at home sometime soon, and being surrounded by this business that is truly an effort of people who deeply love the process and culture of brewing so much that they’ve built a life around it is inspirational.
Regardless of my contentment with my employment, I’m struggling financially, and have used my poverty as a silly, silly excuse to let my domestic tendencies slide. Of course, the concept of poverty preventing domestic tendencies completely collides with everything I’ve ever said. I’ve just been slacking. This is something that I desperately need to get on top of in the next couple of months, since I plan to start school in winter Quarter, attending Evergreen State College in an attempt to acquire my bachelors degree in Social Anthropology. Hopefully I won’t butt heads with too many trustafarian hippies. …yeah, right. We all know I will.
It will, however, keep me busy while waiting for The Husbands release. But my goal now is to balance it all. I have to balance a semblance of single-motherhood along with a fairly full work schedule and education… is it possible to continue to create a creative, encouraging, thought-provoking environment for my children?
I believe so.
Am I going to undertake the challenge?
Am I going to continue to log my socio-economic experiment in parenting while supporting an anarchist mindset? …I shall at least thoroughly attempt!
Thank you for everyone who continues to read my staccato blogging. This post is dedicated to my Husband, the love of my life, father to my children, a man who stands up honestly for what he thinks and could never be anyone other than himself. My lover, my best friend, and the finest person I have ever known.
You are so fine to me, my love. See you friday.